Hag
by Byrdde
Summary: Someone’s been sneaking into Diagon Alley…


Disclaimer:  I don't own Harry Potter (fooled you, didn't I?).  I don't own Ari, I just try to keep her from going insane.  I do own Krystal.  Other than that, I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions.

***

NB: I'm sorry!!  I was on cold medication and it was like three in the morning.  hangs head They overpowered me. Hope you enjoy the insanity.

*~*

Crowds avoid hags.  It's a general rule of thumb, as is ignoring them, in as much as possible.  No one knew why, exactly.  True, they weren't the cleanliest creatures on earth, but certain patrons of any corner pub could easily outdo them for odor.  Also true that some did not have the most courteous way with words, but nearly any wizard from the backwoods was just as rough around the edges.  In the old days, they'd been thought to eat children, but now that was backwards thinking.  Once, wizards and witches had scared their children into submission with tales of becoming as ugly as a hag, but this wasn't really an issue as they kept their faces covered nearly all the time.  So there was no real reason that crowds tended to bend at the edges where hags were involved, or people tended to forget anything relating to the sight or words of a hag.  It was simply a rule of thumb.

A bloody useful rule of thumb to Ari's way of reasoning.

So it was that, on a cheerful, bright summer day, there was one iota of not so crowded space making its way through the very crowded streets of Diagon Alley.  Were hags, technically, allowed in Diagon Alley?  Ari had no idea, but she certainly received a better overall welcome from the wizarding world while dressed in her slightly dirty but concealing cowl and walking with a slight stoop than she had the one time she had tried to enter the place as herself.  And, besides, she needed Floo Powder.

There was a rather large crowd of people, most of them appearing to be school aged still, gathered outside Quality Quidditch Supplies.  Mumbling darkly about the state of young people today – Ari pushed her way roughly between two seventh years older than herself and continued on her way.

~

Krystal slipped through the entrance to Diagon Alley.  Technically, as a Muggle, she shouldn't be able to open the arch behind the Leaky Cauldron, but strings had been pulled once the Ministry discovered that she had, negligible, control over Ari.

So here she was.

Again.

Not once in all her journeys to Diagon Alley, each one made on a hunch that Ari was managing to sneak in somehow (mostly deduced from reports of terrified and babbling wizards who had had run ins with a brown haired girl in various states of insanity or obsession), had she actually managed to find the girl.  It was getting tiring.

She had her suspicions, of course.

At first, she'd figured that Ari was bribing or charming some of the old wizards in the Leaky Cauldron into opening the brick wall for her.  But, as time went on and the men showed no signs of growing paranoia, she decided against this theory.  There had been one bad week where she'd been sure her quarry was actually some sort of hideous monster and was simply climbing through the wall.  But then they had managed to talk Ari out of doing her hair like Hermione Granger (a look which did not suit her at all, as she let it get so bushy she couldn't see where she was going) and, eventually, into shrinking her teeth back to normal (how she had managed that one without magic, no one knew), and that hypothesis had fallen apart as well.  After months of formulating theories, Krystal still came up blank.

Though at times she suspected Ari was sneaking in under the guise of a hag, she told herself she was being uncharitable.  The hags had enough bad rep.

~

Tightly grasping her Floo Powder and a House tie she had nicked from a careless second year Slytherin outside of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor, Ari hurried back through the crowds – or, rather, back through the spaces the crowds made for her.  To her annoyance, the crowd was still gathered outside of Quality Quidditch, mooning over some new racing broom or other.

She was just about to push her way through once more when a shock of white-blond hair caught her eye (really, it was more like radar).  She stopped dead.  Then squealed.  No, squealed doesn't begin to describe the sound she made.  It was a sound unlike any other, the utter perfection of a fangirl's hunting cry.  It was what the well known 'squee' wishes to be when it grows up.  It was a Squee.

Those nearest to her jumped and looked for the dead bird.

What they saw was this: a small, stooped hag clutching a bag suddenly stand straight, toss back her head to give off another of the awful wails, and dash into the mass of students, spilling them everywhere.  Even two extremely large figures that happened to be bracketing her target.

~

Krystal heard the Squee from inside Flourish and Blotts.  A moment later all that remained to prove her former presence there was a small salesman who suddenly found himself both holding the book she'd been browsing through and sitting rather uncomfortably on the ground.

~

Draco had turned with the rest to see where the horrible noise had come from and was quite shocked to find both that Crabbe and Goyle, previously standing on either side of him, had been shoved to the ground (quite an accomplishment), and that he was now face to face with a hag.

"Who –" he began, before collecting himself properly.  "_What_ are you?"

"Ari," was all it said.  Did hags have names?  Apparently.  But, then, who really cared.

"What are you doing so close to me?" he asked, eyeing the two or three feet between them with obvious disdain for their failure to be twelve or thirteen. 

"Imagining you in leather trousers," the hag breathed happily.

Draco looked back at her in alarm and realized that the hag was really rather young and had a disturbingly dreamy look on her face.

"Blimey, this old gal's got a screw loose," he heard someone in the crowd say.

"Have you got any?" asked the hag.

"What, screws?" he asked, very near absolute panic now.  It was unfamiliar territory.

The hag giggled, a dreadfully familiar sound.  "Oh my!"  She giggled again.  But surely not…the figure he was faced with was a hag, not a…no, definitely a hag.  Simply a…young hag.  "I meant leather pants."

"Oh.  I, uh," Draco stuttered.  Then his eyes widened.  He never stuttered.  He was not liking the looks of this at all.

"Oh!  Could you smirk for me?  Please, please, please?" begged the hag…only it wasn't a hag.  He knew that now with total certainty and, as a cold fear settled in his stomach, he knew what it was he faced.  The one thing he feared, the one thing he had spent years avoiding.  And, yet, here he was, face to face with one of them.  Possibly, he reflected as he backed slowly away, with their queen.

To his horror, the fangirl followed him.

~

Krystal could hear the shouting, but couldn't make her way through the crowd fast enough.  And something was, quite obvious wrong.  She grabbed the sleeve of the nearest crowd member, a young wizard of medium height and skinny build, with a shock of black hair topping his head.  He turned and looked at her through thick glasses, an expression of depthless angst permanently stamped on his features.

"Oh, for pity's sake," spat Krystal, releasing her grip on his sleeve and rushing on through the crowd.  Of all the people in the mass of wizards and witches, he was the only one who probably wasn't paying attention.  As she ran, she caught snippets of conversation: "…chasing…" "…Draco Malfoy…" "…hag…"

At that last word, she put on a burst of speed, shouting at the top of her lungs, "I knew it!"

~

Draco wasn't quite sure where he was running to, only that he needed to loose the fangirl that was dogging him.  So far he'd tried everywhere he could think of, including the men's bathroom.  She'd followed him everywhere (to the dismay of several young wizards, at that).  He was running out of options.

Just as he was about to try one last ploy – a quick dodge down Knockturn Alley – his chances ran out.

With another all-mighty Squee, the insane girl launched herself into the air and landed firmly on his back.

He staggered for a few steps before tumbling down, the abominable girl on top of him.

~

Krystal stood nearby, pondering her next action as she watched the blond wriggle for escape.  Usually, she just let Ari outsmart herself, but it seemed as if she had actually gotten it right this time.  So what to do?

While Ari seemed to be enjoying herself, her victim seemed rather less than pleased.  What a surprise.

With a sigh, Krystal moved toward the couple.

~

There was no escape.  He had been captured by a fangirl.  Now his life would be all fluff and giggling, punctuated by that ear piercing, unbearable Squee.  Draco was as close to tears as he had been in his entire life.

~

It was but the work of a moment to pull Ari off of her blond prey and slip her something out of a pocket.  That done, Krystal eyed the boy, still lying on the ground, whimpering.

"Not another fangirl…please, no…"

"No," she said, and watched for a few moments more.  "You can get up now," she suggested finally.

Looking frankly embarrassed, Draco did so and, with one nervous glance at Ari – who was cooing over an unseen object – disappeared into the crowds.

Shaking her head, Krystal turned to her friend.

"Why do you always do this?" she asked as she began guiding the other back toward the Leaky Cauldron.

Ari shrugged.  "I like blond boys."  She paused for a while to contemplate what Krystal had handed her.  "Thanks for the pork bun."

Krystal nodded absently, she was amusing herself by watching wizards flee as they caught sight of Ari, who had lost the hag guise at some point.  A sharp giggle brought her back to reality.

"What?"

It took another moment of giggling for Ari to regain her faculty of speech.

"He thought I asked for a screw…"

Krystal groaned and shoved the other girl back into the Muggle world.

*~*

NB: Well, what'd ya think?  There should be another Arific posted soon as it's just being edited.  My apologies if this scarred you in anyway.  I'm thinking of starting a support group.


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